Hutton

dear hutton,
 you are about three months away from the age lainey was when i got pregnant with you...and oddly enough...you have started asking me constantly to have another baby. it's funny the questions you come up with...some that probably shouldn't be answered just yet. but...you have made me start thinking about WHY we haven't had another baby. and i have pretty much decided that the answer is...FEAR. you see...for the first two years of your life and the entire time i was pregnant, i worried about you so much that it paralyzed me. and here is why....

 fertile genes run rampant on both sides of our family, so before i even had time to blink, i was pregnant. and from that point on, i started worrying.... i knew all along you were a boy. i never even thought about pink or lace or dresses...just ball caps and sports. 

the dr. appointments were fine...until they weren't. damn you triple screen test. nothing can prepare you for the phone call from an insensitive nurse who proceeds to say three things...
1. your numbers for spina bifida are extremely high
2. does spina bifida run in  your family (what???)
3. i already made you an appointment with a fetal specialist at 2:00 tomorrow. see you then.

i remember hanging up the phone in slow motion..hardly able to comprehend what just happened. i called daddy who was already on his way home...and then i called grandaddy...and sobbed like a baby. the next few hours were a blur of tears and prayers and phone calls and google(which i do NOT recommend). i silently remodeled our house in my head...moving your room to the bonus room so your wheelchair would be able to fit. i had been through hard times before...at least this time we had daddy...so i knew we could do it again.

 to say that the next day was the longest of my life, would be an understatement. when we walked into the dr. office, i felt like i couldn't breathe...like a 300 lb weight was on my chest. and i wanted to scream at the nurses who smiled at me and asked how i was doing. HOW AM I DOING? i am on the verge of hearing terrible news about my unborn child...I'M FANTASTIC. 

 they led us into the dark room, squirted gel on my belly, and turned on the ultrasound machine. about 10 min. in, the tech asked us if we wanted to know if you were a boy or a girl? poor daddy was so scared, he didn't even answer...so i quietly said yes....but to be quite honest, at that point it didn't even matter...we were way more concerned about your health. and what should have been an exciting day...we were having a BOY...was consumed with worry and fear. after 45 min of scanning and clicking and scanning and clicking...the tech left the room...without saying a word. 

 finally the dr. came in and told us that as of right now, we don't see anything...but we can't tell you 100% that there isn't something wrong. you will need to come back for ultrasounds every 3-4 weeks. then they sent us to a genetic counselor...who proceeded to tell us that if we were going to "do anything" about the baby, we need to do it now. after we calmly explained to her that abortion was NOT an option and that we love you...no matter what...i asked her one last question. have  you ever seen numbers this high where there wasn't something wrong? after her polite "no"...we turned and walked out. and at that moment, i loved you even more.

 we continued many ultrasounds through out the pregnancy, which all ended the same way. we don't see anything, but can't tell you 100% until he is born.

 on your birthday, we had a team of people there in the room...waiting for you...in case there was a complication. and when your 8lb 10oz self was born, the dr. flipped you over, ran her hands along your spine, and declared you totally healthy. and only then...as i watched that team of nurses trickle slowly out of the room, did your daddy and i finally start to breathe again. until two months later...and the scariest day of my life....

(part 2 tomorrow)

bathroom remodel

***WARNING: this post has gobs of pictures....

feast your eyes upon this! here is our upstairs hall kids/guest bath....and up until a month ago...it made me cringe to even walk past the door. i had visions of what i WANTED it to look like, but money certainly doesn't grow on trees now does it? 1974 ugly.

(this pic is when we were closing on the house!)

apparently i didn't even know where to begin with decorating. circus theme anyone?

(what in the world??!)

  at some point, i painted the window and vanity white(they were off white/cream) and purchased new hardware for the vanity. how about blue and white this time? i would say it helped about....10%. 

after that, i just called it a day and saved my pennies.

nice way to clash some blues...

builder grade mirror....yuck!

notice the spray bottle...that was my sorry attempt at removing the wallpaper...with fabric softener. MISTAKE! four hours and 2 blisters later...i had about 1/16th of it removed. but god bless ms. brenda...who for $200 removed the rest in 2 1/2 hours. three cheers for angie's list!

  

and then came my favorite day in the history of this house. DEMO! as i sat downstairs listening to the cracking of tile, i was praying i would not look up and see someone falling through our kitchen ceiling.

 we also changed the plumbing so it is now a single knob shower faucet...

  

holy loveliness....

tile all the way to the ceiling...

delorean gray grout for hiding the dirt! ;)

new vanity with soft close drawers and doors...which hutton promptly opened and closed 376 times the first day.

i LOVE the rectangular sink...

new faucet

 one of my favorite things....i have been eying these lights for years!

 

AND.....

TA-DA!!!!

(photographer i am NOT...the light was horrible...and this room is very tiny, so it is hard to take pics...but you get the point!)

i still need a curtain and a shower curtain...and the amount of hours i have spent looking...is probably illegal...but i don't buy something unless i L.O.V.E. it...and nothing i have seen so far is screaming to me! we will also be replacing the bulbs with something "prettier".

besides the fact that i am so happy how everything turned out...i am proud of this bathroom. i designed it from top to bottom myself (ok...and pinterest! ha!). honestly it is MUCH easier starting from scratch then it is to go into a room and work with what you have. my dream would be to build a house...and design everything from start to finish to suit our needs and style. i mean really...how fun would THAT be?

so...now that this project is done...guess how many more i have swirling around in my head? ;)

happy happy wednesday....

h

Lainey

dear lainey,
 i can't BELIEVE tomorrow you will be thirteen! yikes! where exactly has the time gone? you are growing up so fast that it makes my heart ache. proud is an understatement when i think of how i feel about you. everything i always wanted to be in life...you already are. kind, sensitive, caring, funny, protective, loving, smart, brave, patient and BEAUTIFUL. but i have to say...what i am most in awe of...is your love for God. your desire to soak up everything you can about Him, teach others about Him...be like Him. you have a precious gift with your compassionate heart. i was amazed when last year...you went on your first mission trip...and sent me a text saying you lead a sweet little girl to Christ. it made me cry....and i was SO proud.
 when you were little, i used to say to you, "pretty is as pretty does"....and i have never met anyone who portrays that more than you. your smile can light up a room, but your heart is what touches people...from young to old. to hear adults tell me that their child says..."lainey is known as the girl who is nice to everyone"....(and that is TOUGH in middle school) makes my heart want to burst with pride. because... see... YOU already have it figured out. it's not "things" or "popularity" that matter in life...but how you make people feel on the inside that counts. i can't wait to see what God has in store for you... i am SO proud to call you my daughter. you changed my life..and made me a better person. i love you more than words could possibly say. happy happy birthday.

love,
mom :)

siblings

 my sweet kids are so close...and i am completely in awe of it. it makes my heart happy every.single.day. especially since seth, jon, and i pretty much wanted to kill each other most of the time. sometimes i thought we may fight to the death...literally. thankfully we are great now...but i am loving that my kids are the complete opposite! (and mom...i don't know you did it. :-o )

 one of my favorites is this...hutt leaves for school around 7:15...lainey doesn't start until 9:00...so...before he leaves, if she is still asleep, he tiptoes  into her room and gives her a kiss. and when she wakes up, she writes him a note so he will see it when he comes home. be still my heart. i am so blessed....

love....

livin' like a KING

summary of our week: RAIN

ok. that was easy. now on to more exciting news. wait for it....
brian and i got a new KING bed. y'all. what in the name of sleeping took us so.dang.long? i am in love. really. and i'm not a person who is usually attached to "things". i send bags and bags of stuff to the goodwill every month. but you might have to kill me if you want to take my bed. i am a SUPER light sleeper. always have been...always will be. so here is the thing. i love my husband...but do NOT touch me while i'm sleeping. i don't like it. i need space to stretch out and breathe. and last night...i woke up around 3:00am and remembered that i was in my nice new big bed...and just to prove how much room i had, i made a snow angel. right there in the bed. and i touched NOTHING. then i smiled and fell instantly back to sleep. dreamy. 

AND...this is my other favorite thing about it. when you buy king bedding....IT ACTUALLY FITS THE BED. holla! raise your hand if  you think that the person who invented "full/queen" bedding had a few loose screws. i mean really...the beds are two different sizes, so of COURSE a full sized duvet will fit a queen bed....that is, if you want to play cover wars all night in your sleep. 

so, there you have it. sleep quality is lookin' up here in the warren household...and no one is happier than me! ;)

happy thursday!

h :)

worry less...pray more.

sometimes many times being a parent is hard...for me, not the running around....we are so busy i can't breathe, keeping up with household things...but i struggle in the emotional/worry/anxiety department. i am a worrier...HA! i know my dad is saying an "amen" to that right now...because i have been and always will be one of those people who...when it comes to my kids...thinks the worst. i TRY so hard to hide it or pretend that is is not there, but i have realized that it will.not.go.away. 

for example. when i was little...i'm talking six or seven...when we traveled, i would watch for "hospital" signs, so that if my dad had a heart attack(what the heck??) while he was driving, i could jump up in the front seat and know exactly where to go to get help. i mean...seriously. who does that? or even better...i would always think of jobs that i might be able to do if my parents died because i would have to take care of seth and jon and i would need to work. because...i'm SURE we would not go live with family and i would be left to raise my brothers.... :-0

so now that i have my own kids...bless their hearts....every time they get sick, thanks to google, they have some rare form of cancer. and i can't even think straight until they are off to school and back to normal. poor hutton had a week of anxiety about school and other activities that had me on the verge of a breakdown and marching him right into a psychology office. i just knew something terrible was wrong. friday night he cried himself and i prayed myself to sleep. and guess what? he woke up saturday with a smile. thank GOD!

sooo...i know i said that i didn't have any new years resolutions, but actually that is a lie. i have a few...and one of them is to "worry less and pray more". i even bought a sign to hang in my house as a daily reminder....so hopefully when that worry starts creeping in....i can remember to squash it with bible verses...and my mind will be eased. 

Luke 12:25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his  span of life?

No one can pray and worry at the same time.- Max Lucado

happy monday! 

h

hello strangers....

well....the good thing about having a blog that nobody reads and that doesn't bring in any money is this...you can take a four month vacation! ;)  the last time i wrote i was recovering from a breakdown because hutt started kindergarten. ummm...i seem to have recovered quite well. here is a quick recap of events over the last quarter of a YEAR! yikes!

• i started WORKING! can you freakin' believe it? ok ok...it's not every day, and it's not full time, but it gives me extra money to redecorate every room in my house at least once a year now! ;)  my good friend leigh, who is an awesome interior designer, asked if i would want to be her assistant. what what? i had to think about it...for all of four seconds. IT IS SO DANG FUN! and guess what? i had to learn how to use my GPS and not freak out when i get lost. i have only called brian one time...and well...that is another story for another day...
• brian and i went on a vaca to san francisco and wine country in september for my cousin's wedding. best trip of my life. most of my dad's side of the family plus my parents and my brother and sister-in-law were there and those hilarious people + lots and lots of wine = more fun than you can even imagine. every morning i woke up, my stomach was sore from laughing like a hyena. oh the fun! 
• exercise...what is THAT??
• weight gain...oh...i KNOW what you are.... ;)
• if you want to have an easy time losing weight here is the secret formula. after the holidays, put on tight exercise pants and an exercise bra and  wear it around the house. you will NOT set foot in the kitchen. holy rolls!! :-0  
• so i decided not to drink during the week...and lordy lordy..i miss that nightly glass of wine while i cook. my meals have become much less exciting...
• i turned 35...and we went with my parents, brother, sister-in-law, and nephew to the mountains for the weekend...complete with MORE wine drinking. once again, total fun.
• lainey is acing school. so far, she has had straight A's her entire middle school career. hutton has sweet teachers and is also doing great in school, but could take it or leave it...i feel his pain. i never liked school either...and then i became a SCHOOL TEACHER! bahahahahahahaha   talk about making NO sense...
• i volunteered to be class mom in Hutt's class this year, and i almost fell out of my seat at the first meeting when i was handed my FOLDER of responsibilities. apparently that role is serious business...
• my goal for 2013 is to get ALL of my pictures off of my computer and either printed, made into photo books, or put on discs. don't judge, but since 2008 i have  not printed off the first picture.
• and lastly, i didn't make any nyr because i never keep them and it just makes me feel like a failure. raise your hand if you agree.

hope everyone has a happy wednesday!

h :)

ps. apparently "fun" is my new favorite word....